Inner Turmoil
by missinhalf
Summary: He is scared to tell her the truth about their clan. SasuSaku, Sasuke and Sarada


He hasn't told her. He hasn't told her why her grandparents and uncle are six feet under; why their whole clan is. He doesn't tell her why he was the last sole survivor of the infamous Uchiha clan and the real reason why he has an artificial arm.

It's not that he's scared to tell her (why should he be scared of the past?) He's scared to tell her because he's afraid he's going to lose her. She is his child; his sweet, precious daughter, the creation of true love, his pride and joy. He's afraid he's going to lose her after she learns the truth, the truth of what he's done and the truth of the clan.

She is only six, such a young and innocent age. She is beautiful and intelligent like her mother, and quiet and skillful like him. She has her mother's forehead and stunning cat eyes, and his dark hair and eyes. She's so young and he doesn't want to corrupt her with the truth.

He's tired of the excuses and the many questions he avoids. He's tired of seeing her grinning face of anticipation for a story about his family turn into a frown of disappointment as he refuses to do so. He's tired of seeing the way she would then turn to her mother asking her to tell her, but she refuses. He's glad his wife understands that this is something he has to do for himself.

He has to tell her. No matter how young she is, he know that she's going to learn about it at school from their biased textbooks. The Uchiha clan was quite famous and after the massacre, he knows, the Uchiha clan is a household name, and so is his. Uchiha Sasuke: the traitor, the only survivor, the younger brother of the murderer who killed his own clan. But no one knows the story as well as he knows it. He lived through it and survived and no textbook can accurately explain it as well as he knows he can.

* * *

"I'm going to tell her," he says as he rolls over in their bed and places his arm around his wife's waist and pulls her against him.

"She's not going to hate you, Sasuke-kun," she reassures to set his doubts aside and she leans against his chest. "You're her father. She looks up to you and your past wouldn't change that."

He doesn't say anything as he pulls her tighter as if he's going to lose her too.

"It's going to be okay, I promise," she coos, and she places her hand on his arm. "Do you want me to be there when you tell her?"

"This is something I have to do by myself, Sakura… But thank you." He places a kiss against her hair and lies silently, with his wife in his arms, as she drifts to sleep while he ponders the outcome of his confession.

"It could go either way," he concludes. "She could hate me for keeping this from her all this time, for avoiding it constantly or, as Sakura said, she could accept it and not hate me."

He places himself in his daughter's shoes thinking how he would feel if he was kept from such information, but he remembers that he had been. He remembers learning the truth and how his brother didn't willingly kill their clan and their parents. He remembers accepting this information, but also vowing to destroy Konoha for instructing his brother to kill his own clan. He shakes his head to dispel where his thoughts were leading him.

"Sarada will understand. Just like how I eventually did."

* * *

"Mama said we're visiting Uncle Itachi and Grandma and Grandpa today," his daughter says as she pulls her out the chair in front of him at the kitchen table and sits down. She is dressed in a long sleeve black dress which matches the same shade of her eyes.

"Did she now?" he says with confusion as he raises an eyebrow at his wife.

She giggles. "Yes, but only you two are going to go. I have a lot of work to finish today."

She raises from her seat and picks up her empty plate and cup and places them in the sink. She walks over to her husband, places her hands on his shoulders and gives them a reassuring squeeze before kissing his cheek. She then walks over to their daughter, places a kiss upon her cheek and heads to her study.

* * *

She places a single pink rose against the tombstones of his brother and parents. He watches as she kisses each flower before placing it down as if her kisses could reach them somehow. He remembers asking her before why she always picks the pink roses and her response made him smile.

_"Because Papa, Aunty Ino taught me that pink roses means gratitude and I'm grateful that they're my grandparents and my Uncle. Even though I've never met them, I'm also grateful that they are your parents and brother, because they helped to make you the person you are today."_

After their prayers, they head home.

He contemplates telling her, yet again, listing all the pros and cons in his head, but the cons beat out the pros and also his confidence.

They pass the pond where his father taught him the Great Fireball Technique and he recalls those moments with his father and how he, and as well as the rest of his family, was taken from him too soon.

"Come, Sarada. There's something I want to tell you," he says and he heads down towards the pond.

He sits at the end of the end of the walkway letting his long legs hang above the water. She sits beside him and stares up at him with curious, tender eyes.

He stares off into the distance as he tells her about her deceased Grandparents and Uncle when they were alive. He tells her about his strict but kind father, and his loving mother. He tells her about his beloved older brother. A smile graces his face as he recalls all these moments, his moments of innocence before that unfortunate night. He tells her about when he arrived home and how he found his parents' corpse. He tells her about his brother and how he was the one who took their whole clan's life.

She doesn't interrupt him as he continues with what the loss of his clan had done to him. He reveals his demons to her as he tells her how he deserted the village, abandoning all the bonds he formed with Uncle Naruto and Mama. He tells her how he almost killed them, both, and how he still terribly regrets that to this day. He tells her about when he found out Konoha ordered his brother to kill their clan and how his brother didn't kill him not because he wasn't worth killing, but because he loved him. He tells her about the Fourth Shinobi World War and how after they defeated Kaguya he wanted to start a revolution. He tells her how the only way to do that was to get rid of Uncle Naruto and it was because of him that both he and Naruto had lost an arm.

After confessing everything, he felt a great deal of weight lifted off his shoulders. He released his demons that was consuming him from inside out. He could only hope now that his daughter didn't hate him for keeping all this from her.

She doesn't say anything for a while so he turns to her and sees tears spilling from her eyes. His eyes widen and he places an arm on her back and rubs comforting circles on her back. He hadn't expected her to react like that. He expected angry words, not tears of sorrow. He leans down to her height and whispers, "It's okay, don't cry. That was all in the past."

"I'm sorry, Papa," she chokes between sobs. "I- I didn't know you had to go through all that. And all alone as well. It may have been in the past, but it still happened!" She throws her little arms around his neck and cries against his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around her and rubs her back to calm her down.

"I'm sorry I kept this from you. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn't have it in me to tell you. I was scared that you might have reacted differently and hate me for keeping such a secret from you."

"How could I ever hate you, Papa?" she questions lifting her head from his shoulder to look into his mismatch eyes. "I could never hate you!"

The corners of his lips raise to form a heart-warming smile. He places a kiss on her forehead and says, "I'm glad."

* * *

"It must have been hard for you to tell me that, Papa. But why did you tell me now? And does Mama know about your family?"

They walk hand in hand back home after he had finally opened up to his daughter.

"I told you because you deserve to know. You are an Uchiha and I don't want you to learn about your clan and me from textbooks from school. And yes, your Mama knows. She is an Uchiha after all," he says with a playful smile.

She suddenly stops walking and he turns around to face her.

"It must have been lonely, being all alone. I don't know what I would do if I lost you and Mama," she mutters while staring at the ground.

She suddenly throws her arms around her Papa and hugs his hips.

"I love you, Papa and Mama loves you, too. Even though we aren't as big as your old family."

He crouches and places his hand on her head and ruffles her hair. She pouts and reaches her hands to her head to soothe the aftermath of what he caused to her hair.

"I love you and Mama too, Sarada. You two are the only family I have now, and I wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
